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Ask the Dr.
Featuring Dr. Joyce Brothers

Sharing Vacation Time

Dear Dr. Brothers: It's always been hard for me to make decisions, and now I'm faced with one that's really turning me into an anxious mess. I was given a special, not inexpensive gift some time ago -- to spend my two-week holiday at a fabulous spa in Arizona. It's all paid for and set up. The problem is, I recently met the first guy who's the nearest thing to a soul mate I've ever met. He wants me to go on some kind of holiday, as yet unplanned, this same month. I don't want to risk losing him, but I've never been to Arizona, and I can't do the spa and get to know this new guy better too. What am I to do? -- C.B.

Dear C.B.: Why not discuss your dilemma with this man? Also, have you thought of asking him if he shares your enthusiasm for all the beautiful spots in Arizona? Show him some fliers about this spa. It may come as a surprise, but many men find that spas are now set up for both sexes. Apparently many couples plan honeymoons and vacations around this kind of combination health club and resort.
Whether or not this works out, you need to think about your history of difficulty in making decisions. Like most other such problems, this often can be traced back to childhood, but it can be overcome once the person is able to get over the fear of failure, of making the wrong choice. When you have children of your own, start early with giving them practice at making simple choices on their own, such as selecting the kind of ice cream they want, the color of a piece of clothing or the choice of a favorite story.

(c) 2007 by King Features Syndicate
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